Updated: Nov 10, 2019
It was last year about this time that I attended my first Yoga for Mental Health group. This is such a unique experience for me. It's a drop in yoga class that also has a support group. Here you can unload, without judgment, where you are at on your journey. It's a space of compassion, it's a space for support, it's a space filled with Love. It was during one of these meetings that a realization fell out of my mouth: I was sick and fucking tired of hiding in everyone else's shit!
I said it.... and THEN realized it... right AFTER the words hit the room. Wtf?! I don't know if you've ever had an experience like that before, but trust me, when it happens you pay attention. When it happens to you, you can chose to believe what you want, but I believe this was my higher self communicating with me... through my own. damn. mouth.
And so... I got to work stepping back in relationships where I had been trying so hard to help. I would ask myself if it was "my shit". If not, I gave myself permission to not jump into savior mode.
My husband dealing with his ex, his job, his schooling... not my shit.
My daughters dealing with teachers, homework, friends... not my shit.
You know what I found? I found that I LOVED them all so much more because of it. When I was not wrapped up in it all. I had no expectations, no emotional entanglements. So I listen, I answer questions and advise when explicitly asked, sometimes I have to hand out consequences to the kids, but most of the time I just Love them through it. By me stepping back, they also could stand taller and have more confidence in their own abilities. When I thought I was helping I was actually suffocating.
This is the first time I can say I was setting personal boundaries in a healthy way. As I got better at it a bigger, still connected, lesson came.
It's time to deal with my own shit.